So this pretty much sums up the wedding weekend. Anna is a rockstar and the wedding was really fun.












Anyways, it's about 1am on a Tuesday night and I can't sleep. No idea why. I don't feel overly stressed or anxious...Money sucks, but then it always does. I don't know. I feel like the control that I've had over my life for the last couple of years is just slipping away. Did I got from being completely out of control to be overly in control? But in some areas I'm no more in control then I was 6 years ago.. I need to let go of the sorrow and control that I get from food. I just need to let go of it all and just be.

Meh - spent the weekend with some friends, mostly thinking about others that I wasn't with. Am I always looking for the next best thing? I am romanticizing what my life could be, instead of really enjoying what my life is? Why can't I sleep? Does it mean that another down spell is lurking just around the corner waiting to pop out at me? It wouldn't surprise me, and there in lies the answer. I have a prescription waiting to be filled. What's stopping me? I always tell Angela to stop being scared to succeed, to not be scared to be happy. Why can't I listen to myself? Why I am so scared to follow through on the things that actually really matter to me?
I need to drink up a big cup of my own advice.

And to top it off I'm sick... I just want to stay home and rest and feel better. But I can't... at least for a couple of weeks while I'm covering for people at work while they are on vacation. That just wouldn't be very nice of me. At least the roomies go to Italy soon, and I can wallow (heal) in peace.