So I am sitting here, at about 9pm on a Monday night, thinking over the last few months, the last year really. How clichè , but how fast time does fly. It's strange when you dream about something for a long time and then it actually happens. Then you start to wonder, was this thing that I really wanted all that great, or was it simply the fact that I had something to work towards, something to believe in.. is it the actuality or the possibility that we really strive for?

Do we continue to think of things, no wait, dream of things, to find the meaning in everyday life?

I wonder if we become complacent with what we find as we grow older?

Alright, that's done. So my dear friend *** came over on Saturday night and forced me to watch Alexander. Now if you haven't seen this movie, let me just state.. "what the heck happened to Oliver Stone"????? I never thought I would see such a profound director, with such a strong point of view, make such a muddled half hearted attempt at a main stream movie.

Don't know where I was going with that, just felt like it needed to be said.

'til next time...

GO STEELERS!!

'nuff said.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace things, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..." - Jack Kerouac

Such is a passion about people and observation... To fill our lives with something, to walk about from empty.. power lies in the nothing...

But what if, what if we were in danger of burning out, or worse yet.. what if we were never to burn at all? But instead watch, always watch, and surround ourselves with powerful strong lights, hoping that our artificial light wasn't noticed amongst the stars?? Is it too narcissistic to focus on yourself and your perception to others? Who I am and what am I putting out there??

I was sitting in a car with a couple of my friends the other night, avoiding the stank and grime of the subway for at least one night. Lost among the laughter and jokes going on between the people in the car... Drivers says to me, "talk, say something" but must I? Can't I just observe sometimes? Do we always have to fill our world with noise, is the silence that frightening?

MEH ~

Maybe I am no more than that which I desire.
It's too early for such deep thoughts.. these are middle of the night ramblings..